Date Your Wife by Justin Buzzard 

The book is Date Your Wife by Justin Buzzard. It was published in 2012 by Crossway. I read the 2012 paperback edition. I read it in June of 2024 

The title is a call to men to date their wives. Pretty simple. It’s a call to reignite that passion you felt when you first started dating. When couples first start dating everything is easy and fun. But after work and kids and normal life sets in over the years, the flame gets cold.  

This book was given away on Father’s Day this year at church. Not sure why a book about dating your wife was given out on Father’s Day, but whatever. It was a very short read so I figured I’d read it.  

Buzzard seems like a good guy, but he’s very big Eva church guy. He sounds like he’s trying to be a motivational church guy who is writing a book. It’s clear that the only books Buzzard reads are self-help motivational books.  

My main takeaway from this book is that I need to spend more time with my wife. Date nights would be good, but if it can’t be that, then just spending more time at the house with her. I need to talk with her more. When we have that time we connect really well. We need to have a devotional time together. We’ve never really had that. That’s the biggest thing I can change in my marriage. And more date nights out would be nice.  

This book made me think about my marriage a lot. It made me think of when Lauren and I first started dating. That was a lot of fun. But I was such a loser. It was fun dating at first but then I realized how far behind I was in regards to having nothing to offer her towards marriage. I was on my fourth major in college and just spinning my wheels. But after I met Lauren we fell in love fast and knew we wanted to be married. So I got my butt into gear fast. I got serious about school, graduated and got a job.  

This book talks a lot about taking responsibility, but also about power and how that power to fulfill the things men are responsible for only comes from God the Holy Spirit. That was definitely true in my case. It was only by God’s grace that I became (and am still becoming) the man I’m supposed to be for my marriage.  

There is a section at the end of this book that totally caught me off guard and totally out of character for Justin Buzzard. Nothing he did but something that he encountered that would’ve changed me forever. But Buzzard seemed to take it in stride. I don’t want to spoil it but it’s wild.  

Buzzard explained his ideas well. The book was clear and straight to the point.  

I’d recommend this book to married men. It’s a good reminder about responsibility and the general direction that we as men are supposed to be leading our marriage. It’s got good practical advice as well. Super short easy read.  

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Notable Quotables 

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Your wife isn’t the problem. You’re the problem. I’m the problem. Men are the problem. If you want to change a marriage, change the man. (p40) 

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Immediately after creating Adam, God put him in the garden of Eden and gave him his mission: to work it and keep it. (p56) 

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Responsibility is a problem, but it isn’t the heart of the problem. 

The problem is power. 

God gives men a mission. God commissions husbands to cultivate and guard —to date their wives. This mission requires responsibility and power. The problem with men isn’t the responsibility, the problem is men think they have the power to carry out the responsibility. (p63) 

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The most rebellious, countercultural thing you can do in our culture is to be happily married until death do you part. (p95) 

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As children come and life gets busier, many couples become like ships passing in the night. You take turns going out at night, you take turns going on weekends away with friends, you get buried in separate evening projects at home, and before you know it, you are roommates at best. (p130)