“He could almost see his magnificent father, here …in the mind’s eye—if only he might drop from the clouds and drive these suitors all in a rout throughout the halls and regain his pride of place and rule his own domains!” — The Odyssey (p81 Homer)
Every man should get a job, start a family, and maintain his home. Every man should be pursuing the qualifications of eldership as laid in Titus 1:5-9
“This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— 6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. 7 For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. 9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.”
This isn’t to say that every man should become an elder. But no man can say he will not pursue these characteristics that are listed in Titus 1.
Patriarchy is inevitable. In the Odyssey, Odysseus home was taken over by ravenous suiters trying to woo Penelope. Bad men came in and took over. In Odysseus’ absence it wasn’t women who took over, it was men. Bad men. This is what always happens.
Odysseus son Telemachus was helpless to stop these bad men from taking over his father’s home. He was helpless because he was a baby when Odysseus left. He great up without a father. He didn’t know how to fight and be strong. He didn’t know what to do or how to do it. The bad men overcame the weak Telemachus and ruled with tyranny in Odysseus absence.
Patriarchy is inevitable. We will either be ruled by good men or bad men. Patriarchy is inevitable because men have responsibility even when they aren’t guilty. If my wife wrecks the car, I have to pay to get it fixed. If my son breaks the neighbors window, I have to pay to fix it. I personally didn’t wreck the car or break the window, but I am responsible for the actions of my family and I make the money so I have to pay for it.
In a broader example, let’s say there is a female President one day (God forbid) it would still be a patriarchy. She would have executive power to do things like declare war. But it would inevitably be mostly men who fight and die in that war. That’s men taking responsibility. If my wife mouths off to some guy at a bar, I’m the one who has to fight him. And the patriarchy remains.
There are the way things tend to go, and there are the way things ought to go. As go men so goes civilization. Douglas Wilson said “Civilizations are built by men with families to feed.” Could a civilization deny this and go another way? Yes, and it will fail. When men stop acting like men and taking responsibility, that’s when civilizations collapse.
Odysseus should never have left his home. People might read the Odyssey and liken it to World War II soldiers who’ve gone away from their families fighting evil around the world. But that’s not the case with the Trojan war. It was completely useless. Odysseus should not have gone. He should have been home taking care of his home and family. He was gone for 20 years. That’s a lifetime. He ruined his son. And for what? Helen of Troy? Such a disgrace. He should’ve deserted that war and gone back to his family.
Should Christians be isolationist? Should Christian men abandon their families to go off and fight wars? I would say it depends on the righteousness of the war. But that’s so hard to know in every case. If you compare wars like WWII and Vietnam, it’s hard to give a blanket answer about the merits of going off to fight. Hitler and the Nazis were such clear evils and danger. Vietnam was an effort to contain the spread of communism. That is a worthwhile goal, but at the cost of the losses and atrocities suffered and experienced in Vietnam? Was the threat that imminent?
The bottom line is that men should be with their families as much as possible. If a man is thinking about taking a job that requires long hours at the office and frequent trips out of town, if he can at all avoid that, he should. I understand that sometimes that type of work is the only thing available. I get it. But it shouldn’t be the first choice. Even if it means a pay cut, it could be worth it in the long run compared to losing your family. Telemachus grew up to be a weak man because Odysseus was gone. Don’t let that or a fraction of that happen to your family. For a man to be seeking the kingdom first (Matt. 6:33), means pursuing the qualifications of elder as shown in Titus 1.
Solomon White 
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